It's morning, early, time to go to the shop, Ellen is still asleep.
Katya leaves a note, ‘There is fruit and yogurt for breakfast, coffee or tea.’
At the shop, it's five thirty, customers are milling around the door.
Katya unlocks, "Okay come in, we are ready to make business," she looks at the cop that's there nearly every morning, "Hello Jake, you will have usual?"
Jake, "I need two dozen mixed today. They said if I didn't bring some to morning roll call, they'd shoot me. Only regular donuts, maybe a half dozen cinnamon rolls. Be a fight over the specialty stuff, we'd have to arrest ourselves."
"Okay, glaze, chocolate, sugar, cinnamon rolls, six of each, regular coffee, big one?"
She gives him his coffee, he can fix it while she boxes the donuts.
She hands him the boxes, "Shoot straight, kill criminal, not kid."
Morning madness begins, next thing it's near noon and the wave of Latinos comes in looking for jalapeno ham and cheese croissants, bags of chips and forty four ounce sodas. Katya Donuts sells any size fountain soda for a buck and a quarter. The twins don't care who kills themselves with sugar, it's a donut shop. They drink cups of strong black tea all day, no sugar. Katja occasionally has a Coke Zero.
Ellen calls, “Almost done?”
“Da, we are closing, you are at the house?”
“Yeah, I also got cold cuts and stuff, I’ll make you sandwiches.”
“We will be home in maybe twenty minutes.”
Ellen has Boar’s Head Chipotle chicken breast and top round pastrami, with sliced tomato and spicy mayo.
“Y’all want toast or I can make finger sandwiches, cut off the crust.”
Katja, “We will try finger kind.”
“Up in a sec, I have coleslaw from the store and crinkle cut salt and pepper chips.”
“Sandwich ees gud, best cheeken, we like spicy.”
Ellen, “Boar’s Head is a primo brand. We could never afford it, but I treat myself to a few slices once in a while. Decided to splurge for my girls.”
“Do you cook?”
“I love to cook, can’t do it much at home anymore. When my grandmother was alive, she showed me.”
“We will give you money to buy food when you come over. If you like to cook, cook here, sister and I will try anything, whatever you decide.”
Ellen, “Dang, cool. Um…is it okay to hang out? I don’t want to go home, but I can kill time at as movie or whatever if I’m in the way.”
“Do not make ridiculous, beautiful girl ees never in the way. Take off clothes and sisters will play wiz you.”
Ellen grins, this is turning out to be a dream gig.
Monday morning, back to Katya Donut for five thirty, for the normal morning crazies.
Ellen comes in at one, "Good gravy, you're almost sold out. I smell something different."
Katya, "Sister is adding brownies to menu, they are out in a minute."
Ellen, "I gotta try one," she heads to the kitchen, two big trays of chocolate brownies.
Katja adds fudge icing to some, others will be dusted with powdered sugar, still others to be stacked with a layer of marshmallow crème in between. Brownies are cut in three by three inch squares, except the marshmallow. Those are cut in bars, three by two. Ellen brings the pans out front and loads them in the display case.
Ellen, "How much?"
Ellen takes one, breaks it in half and hands half to Katya, "Let's do a taste test."
"Oh shit, this is too good, we are going to sell the crap out of these marshmallow things."
There are a few afternoon coffee seekers, they spy the brownies, two take home a half dozen. Then the kids get out of school and brownies disappear.
"Miss Katya, those were the best ever. You gonna have them all the time?"
"If you buy, we will have. Take two home to family, no charge, see if they also like," she gives them the evil eye, points her finger, "and give to mom and dad, not for you."
They close up, Ellen says, "Katja, those were splendid. I have to limit myself to one a week or I will be a chunk chick."
"Sisters no haf sexy time wiz fat girl, go to gym."
Ellen giggles, "I'm incentivized."
"I am testing cookie recipe, chocolate, chocolate cheep, maybe peanut butter cheep. And recipe for chocolate cookie wiz no flour, gluten free."
"How do you do that?"
"Ees aig white, powder sugar, coco, good, you will see."
"Well, if you can't have wheat, add sugar, that's what gluten free is all about."
Peggy calls, "I have a contract."
"Da, okay, I will come by later."
"We have business with Penny."
"Go, I am testing cookie recipe and haf to anyway clean," she won't be satisfied until everything is spotless.
"Olivia, I have errand, be in tomorrow."
Olivia, "Have it covered."
Katya drives to Penny’s place, "The subject is in San Antonio, here's a recent photo, name and address. He owns an electronics repair business in an industrial park, Wilson Instrument. I don't know what they repair."
"That narrows it down."
"Any time limit?"
"No, just dead. But we don't get the other half until he is."
"I will go tomorrow, be done then or next day."
Katya goes home, Katja already there.
"San Antonio tomorrow, check out target. Do not know anything about him, habits, just where he lives and works. Maybe two days."
Katja is clicking the keyboard, "Two hundred miles, all eenterstate. Seemple."
"What's for dinner?"
"I peek up roast cheeken, make macaroni and chiz, beet salad wiz onion, vinegar and oil."
Katya pours a vodka shot, one for her sister. They don't down the shot, they sip it, they drink Russian Standard of course. Sometimes Katja takes hers on ice with a dash of blood orange bitters. Tonight she skips ice, but puts a drop of bitters in the shot glass. They're sixteen, but that isn't what the driver's license or birth certificate says. They read twenty two.
Katya sits at the table, Katja brings her plate, then one for herself. The twins are content in their lives, Katja likes taking care of her sister, the one who took far more abuse from their mother. It's Katja's only way to be empathetic, and it only goes as far as Katya. It wouldn't pay to think of either as fragile. Both are steel spike Slavic tough.
Katya calls Maria, "We have business tomorrow, probably Friday, you will handle opening, call Olivia and Ellen."
Maria, "Sure, going out of town?"
"No, just looking at property, but the other side of Houston, not near the shops.'
"Okay them, talk to you later."
That done, they pack a few things, including the Glock Katya silenced and one of the revolvers.
Wilson Instruments is on the east side of San Antonio, in a modern industrial park with various small businesses, medical supplies, uniform company, graphics, commercial printing. The business is in a standalone building, half dozen parking spaces out front, employee parking in back. From the number of cars, looks like there are no more than a dozen employees. There are no trucks that look like they pick up or deliver anything.
Katya is thumbing her android, "They repair electric measuring instruments and sell reconditioned ones. Ammeter, galvanometer, electrometer, voltmeter, also test accuracy of devices."
The target drives a sliver Mercedes, parked to the left of the rear lot. It's ten now, have to see if he goes to lunch. Katja pulls out a thermos of black tea, they settle into the rented Ford sedan to wait.
Wilson appears at eleven thirty, climbs in the Mercedes and drives. The twins are behind him a half block. There's no point to stealth, he has no reason to think he's being followed.
Most people are curious to know why someone wants someone dead. Most people aren't contract killers. They don't want to know why. It risks bringing in a judgment, 'is that all he did?' Or the target has a family, cute little daughter and a dog. Better they stay aloof from reasons and personalities.
The twins are paid money to kill people they don't know, someone somebody else doesn't like or who benefits from the death. It's no different than the military. Soldiers are paid to kill people they don't know, somebodies some government doesn't like or that benefits from the death.
But, unlike the average contract killer, Katja is vaguely curious, does the target know that someone wants him dead? If they do, why aren't they doing something about it. If they don't, are they clueless, too trusting, feel invulnerable?
The Mercedes pulls into a restaurant lot, a sports bar and grill called Friendly's. Who knows, maybe they are.
Katja, "No good here, crowded," the parking lot is filling quickly.
"Probably why he goes to lunch early, popular place. We have to wait, maybe when he goes back to work."
"I will see, wait down the street."
Katja goes in the door, Katya pulls down a half block and parks. In her mind she sees what her sister sees, a big swath of tables and a long bar. A dozen flat screens playing a variety of sports. The clientele is overwhelmingly male, except the wait staff, which is overwhelmingly college girl. Katya figures what works at the donut shop works at Friendly's.
The target is at the bar with a beer, the bartender puts down a plate of fried something, appetizer size. Katja orders a club sandwich and coleslaw to go.
She waits at a sitting area near the entrance, the target is working on a burger now, chats with the bartenders. It's obvious he's a regular. The food comes, Katja goes back to the car, splits the sandwich with her sister, they wait for Wilson.
At quarter to one, he appears, they follow him back to his company. Katya gets out on the street, out of sight of the lot, walks towards Wilson's car, the silenced Glock is in the leather bag hanging from her left shoulder. All she has to do is reach over with her right and the gun is in her hand. She's a few feet behind him, hand on the gun, as she starts to take it out, a door opens.
"Hey, Wilson, gotta call for you."
Katya turns and walks back to the car.
Katja, "Lucky him, for a while anyway."
More wait. Katya spends the time fishing around the net, "We need tracking device, to put on cars. Not have to sit outside and wait around all the time."
She shows Katja what she's found, "Spark Nano, can also buy magnetic case that will stick to car," she clicks around and orders, "internet has everything an assassin needs."
"Probably need more than one."
"Da, but I want to see how it works first, we can get more later."
At five, employees start leaving, cars pull off until there's only one in the lot, the silver Mercedes. Nothing happens until six fifteen.
Wilson comes out and heads to his car, he's on a mobile phone, "Yeah baby, the bitch is out of town. I'll pick up a good wine and steaks, be over in an hour. Got the hot tub ready?"
He laughs at something, clicks off, a soft pop. Before he can feel anything, he can't feel anything. Wilson won’t be making his date. Katya takes his cash, a few hundred, puts his wallet and Baume Mercier wristwatch in the bag with the gun.
"Just drive home, traffic will be light in Houston by the time we get there. Stop someplace so we can pick up a burger, I need to dump the wallet and watch."
Between bites of burger, Katja says, "Maybe wife wanted dead, he ees going to meet up with girlfriend."
Katya, "Sounded like it. Does not matter, it could go another way, he calls Penny and puts contract on wife."
"Da. Maybe we tell him wife wants dead, he pays us to kill wife. Then we haf first payment from wife, then full payment from him."
"Nyet, he maybe doesn't believe, runs away or goes to cops. He also knows us. Too complicated, we get the money, we kill the target."
"I am curious eef target can figure out why someone ees want him dead. He must not think so, or he would do something. But when we tell him, does he know right away, or ees it meestery to him?"
"Maybe next time we will ask."
They pull in their driveway at quarter to eleven.
Katja, "You going to keep gun?"
"Da, is good one, silencer works. When I thought over, it seemed dumb to throw away. Most people are shot by somebody they know. Cops find gun, match up ballistic. We don't know targets, we use soft nose hollow point, bullet is mostly destroyed. I read they can sometimes get match from fragment, but first they need gun. Nobody is looking for us, nobody knows we have guns. We have three Glock, plus revolvers. Use different one each time. Not likely that cops will match bullet to another person shot someplace else. And if they do, where is gun?"
They shower, have a couple of vodkas, tired from a long day of driving. Time to curl up together and sleep.
Sleep in a little this morning, they get to the shop at eight, business is brisk.
Maria, "You find any property?"
Katya, "Nothing interesting. Right now, better to rent house. Old lady is happy to get checks. But maybe in a few months I will offer to buy. Then if we want to make a change it is not a problem. Katja would like bigger kitchen, dress up bathrooms."
The bustle of business precludes any more chat, they're busy until ten before it slackens.
Maria, "You good with me going to the other store now?"
"Sure, Katja may be over later. I know you keep it all in order, but she has to see for herself."
"I don't mind. It's better to have an owner who cares. You have a brand to protect. Right now a couple of shops, but maybe you expand later."
"We talk about it, we have to get good manager, most important. It is small business, but still need to have boss in store."
Maria, "Olivia is conscientious. Ellen is good too, but she's thinking college and might be better for her instead of a full time job."
"You think Olivia will want to run shop?"
"She has a Latino work ethic, and a promotion would be welcome. She's not Ellen, there's no college in her future. She has a hardworking boyfriend, they want to get married and have a family. Both sets of parents live here. If she has kids, she doesn't need to quit work, child care is built in."
"I will talk to her."
Maria, "Good, she deserves her chance. See you soon."
After the lunch rush, things settle down around two, Katya asks Olivia, "Maria says you might like to manage a shop."
Olivia smiles, "It would be great. Julio is finishing his degree, business major. We want to get married, but I don't want to sit at home. Maybe children, probably. But if I have a good job, we can make sure they have all the advantages."
Katya, "I will find a good location, build another shop. You can manage? It is extra work."
"Great Katya, gracias, muchas gracias. Julio will be so happy, can I tell my parents?"
"Understand we have to find a spot, build it out. It is not to happen tomorrow. A few month maybe."
Olivia, "Sure, of course."
Katja, "Two Russian girls make donuts in Texas, only in America. Now I haf cookie recipe perfect. This afternoon, brownie, chocolate cheep cookie and no flour chocolate."
The kids come pouring in after school, brownies disappear. On the way out they get a bag with a half dozen cookies with a stern warning from Katya to take them home to share and report back the opinions.
Ellen, "Doing a test market?"
Katya, "Da, Katja makes with best ingredients, Ghirardelli chocolate. We will see."
Ellen, "Saturday tomorrow, we still on for Sunday?"
"Sure, we will have good time."
"I'm certain of it," Ellen grins, sly and seductive.
"Time to clean cases, flirt later."
Ellen giggles, Katya is enjoying her curvy legs, Ellen is enjoying her enjoyment.
They close up, twins drive home. They have an SUV, they like the room and occasionally have to haul things to the stores. Katya bought a used Honda CR-V with twelve thousand miles on it. More than serviceable for their needs.
Katja, "We will search for a new location?"
"Yes. Not too close, but not all the way across town. Maybe closer to where Olivia lives. We want the same, a school nearby, maybe retired people, middle class with Hispanic also. Olivia must hire also Caucasian girl, we can have our bakers train new ones. They know people looking for job."
It's going to be a busy stretch, opening a new place, the twins hardly mind. This versus finding a different empty house every couple of nights, just having a home is heaven. And now there's a relaxing Sunday with exquisite Ellen.
She arrives at noon, Katja pours champagne and serves Beluga blinis, thin crepes with fresh sour cream and Beluga caviar.
Ellen, "Oh God, this is divine."
Katya, "Russian favorite."
Katja makes a pizza, square, margherita style, fresh sliced tomato instead of sauce, mozzarella and romano cheeses, mushroom and pepperoni. Parmesan to sprinkle on top. Chianti accompanies.
Ellen, "Geez, this is so good Katja."
"Spasibo, thank you."
"Spasibo, my first Russian word. I should learn Russian, we can talk and no one would know what we talk about."
"Do you want to learn?"
Ellen, "Sure. They have Russian online, if I take a course, will you help me?"
Katja spreads a big comforter on the floor, there are a half dozen throw pillows. They sit in a circle and sip. Ellen leans back on her hands, the twins take in supple smooth skin, light brown hair falls to her shoulders, blond highlights shimmer. Like the twins, she's Brazilian bare.
Ellen, "You have decided to open another store?"
Katja, "Da, Olivia would like to run shop, we will find a place."
"I don't think I want to run a store, I love the benefits of working at one though," she smiles, stretches long legs, cocks one leg to the side and teases herself with a finger. Bites her lip, the sisters are watching her finger slow slide.
The twins do their part, lean in as the buzz-phrase goes, Katja takes one, Katya the other, kiss their way along the tops of her feet, to shins, knees and thighs. Katya stops to focus on the Brazilian with her tongue, Katja continues to breasts then neck then lips.
The twins alternate until Ellen rockets to a shivery cli-Max. She rests on her elbows, back arched, a few aftershocks.
"Christ, death by orgasm. Feels good isn't even close."
They have her surrounded, one twin leg covers each of Ellen's thighs. They roll to straddle her legs, then get themselves off on her.
Ellen has a crooked grin, "I've never been a sex toy before."
Katja, "You will be sexy toy for sisters."
"I'm good with that," lingering kisses for them both, "and anything else you want."
Katya, "You are off on Monday and Thursday, you have classes, maybe go to gym, what else?"
"Try to stay away from mom's boyfriend of the month."
"You will come here, clean house for us."
Ellen, "Yeah, okay, I'll do that...like both days?"
"Da, yes, a few things one day, the rest the next. We will give you money, not for free."
Ellen, "Thanks, hell, I’d do it for nothing just to get out of the house."
Three months shoot by, one more contract fulfilled in Galveston. Tool pusher for an oil company that liked the shortcut of prostitutes. Which is fine by the twins, but apparently somebody took issue with his taste for beating them senseless after he got his rocks off. Katja posed as a prostitute, he snapped up the hot girl from his favorite street corner and drove her to a sleeze-shit motel. As they went in the room, she stuck a knee in his nuts, he choked and bent forward, Katya appeared and front kicked him in the face. He sailed right to the bed.
He turned over, mouth open, eyes with the dull glaze of cheap whiskey, must have thought he was seeing double. Katya neutered him with the first shot, then eased his pain with the second. They relieved him of eight hundred dollars, no point in taking his Timex. Checked his truck and found a Colt automatic and a couple boxes of forty five caliber dum dums, another name for hollow points. Took that too.
Katja decides Galveston is the trashiest place she'd seen in Texas. She hasn't been to Beaumont or Texarkana.
The new third store is up and running. Olivia's extended family makes sure everyone knows. It's only a couple miles from her parent's, a densely packed Latino neighborhood loaded with families loaded with kids. Katja's Tres Leches donuts are a hit, and she adds Conchas to the offerings, the Mexican sweet bread baked with crusty sugar on top. Katja dresses them up, now they have strawberry, lemon, raspberry and cherry-vanilla sugar. Not just colored sugar, flavored sugar. Goes over so well, she adds them to the other shops.
Katya, "Never guessed there is so much money in flour and sugar."
"We make best product, nobody else has, hire cute girl, keep beezness seemple, even better mostly cash money. We have enough to buy house now, da?"
"Yes, I will make offer to old woman tomorrow. She will see two hundred thousand in a pile instead of fifteen hundred a month. She can give it to the casino faster. You will have the kitchen you want, fancy bathroom."
"Ellen is a good girl, takes care of house, does what we want. Maybe we ask her if she wants to take second bedroom."
"I will have secret cabinet for guns, metal, behind sliding panel in closet expansion."
Ellen is over one weekday evening, she serves vodka, appropriately deferential, and lusciously nude.
Katya, "Ellen, sit here, we will talk."
Ellen sits on the couch, crosses her legs, the twins are in two chairs that face the couch.
"You are doing well, quiet, work hard."
"We want you to live here, have your own room. Other than your obligations to us, you may come and go as you wish. Are you agreeable?"
Ellen's smile is sufficient reply, but she says, "I am honored. You won't regret it, getting out of that house is....oh God, thank you."
Katja, "We haf first to remodel, maybe six weeks, two months. We will feex up your room and bathroom as well. Everything will be update, modern. This house is good house, not in reech neighborhood, but ees quiet, nice trees and landscape, we are adding privacy wood fence to replace old one."
Ellen, "Wow, sounds great, what can I do?"
"You must put in time to help in store, I will be checking contractor, maybe not there as much."
Ellen, "Net problem," (no problem) "did I get it right, nyet problyum?"
The house is finished, new bed for Ellen, baths are tricked out with Jacuzzi tubs and rainfall showers, dual shower heads in the twins' bath. The kitchen has been enlarged by adding on to the rear. Viking appliances, a commercial vent over the stove. Carpet is a dirt magnet, they ripped it out and replaced it with wood blocks.
In the twins' bedroom is a large walk in closet, the back panel is a mirror.
The mirror is on a concealed metal door that opens with Katya or Katja's thumbprint only.
**Education alert--identical twins don’t have identical fingerprints**
Inside is the stash of guns and ammunition, Katya's collection of fake IDs, and forty thousand dollars in cash. The compartment is fireproof. Of course, if the house burns down the thumbprint entry is useless, which is why there's a key entry on the underside.
Despite the closet's size, they aren't clothes freaks, a few dresses, primarily good quality slacks and blouses, heels, wedge, pump and puppy, no stiletto. They wear jeans and sneakers at the shop.
Katya made a concession to uniforms, sort of, she designed fuchsia collared polo shirts, polyester and cotton, with the Katya Donut logo on the front. The girls love them. She thought it strange, but customers want them, she keeps a small inventory and sells the shirts for a couple bucks over cost. It’s free advertising after all.
Ellen, "My room is slick, cool bath, king bed. Um, we never talked it out, how much do I pay?"
Katya, "You will work for it. House is your responsibility to clean, change and wash sheets, towels, our clothes. Everything must be neat and orderly. You will also grocery shop, cook dinner. Only donut shop if you need to cover for someone. We will pay also salary, the same you would make at shop."
Ellen, "Full time housekeeper and cook, really? Cool."
Katja, "Your car ees too small and old. Sell it, we transfer title of Honda to you. We are buying another."
Ellen is shocked silent, her eyes misty. She went from high school student living small at home, dodging her mom's nasty boyfriends, to gorgeous twins that understand both her personality and intimate desires.
"If I'm gonna be the house slave, you need to be more domineering, I feel like a flipping princess."
Katja, "Princess slave girl. Maybe new Deesney movie."
Katja runs her hand down Ellen's back, slides it across her tush, then over the hip and between her legs, her finger teases. Ellen's eyes close, mouth opens, sucks in a breath.
"Is this part of my responsibilities?"
"Da, we get to play with you whenever we like."
She grins, goes off to her tasks, first to list her car for sale, then to clean the twins' bath. She smiles to herself, happy and occupied. Katya and Katja leave, there is an appointment with Penny. Ellen knows nothing of Penny or contract killers. Her role is to do as she's told, not to ask questions about her girls' movements. She's submissive, not stupid. And it would be stupid let curiosity mess up her dream deal.
They take the scooters, Katja waits at a coffee shop while Katya sees Penny. She's gone a half hour, joins her sister in the shop.
"We have a good job in Waco. Businessman, don't know what business. Fifty thousand. He has muscle boy who follows him around. We may have to kill also."
Katja, "So what? Bodyguard ees ridiculous, only for rock star or movie girl to push around paparazzi or stupid fan. Somebody wants to shoot, they shoot, bodyguard ees not going to stop. Why local beezness person haf anyway bodyguard?"
"Penny said bodyguard is cover, he is pretty boy play toy."
They ride home, Ellen is out. It's pushing cocktail hour, the door opens and Ellen comes in with grocery bags.
"Hi sweets, I got roasted chicken for dinner, baked or mashed potatoes, your preference. Also spinach, if Katja will show me that recipe of hers please."
"Ees easy. Put away grocery, ees time for cocktail."
Ellen goes to undress, she wasn't wearing much in the first place, miniskirt, platforms and a t-shirt. She loses that and slips on her knee socks, pads to the kitchen. She pours two double shots of vodka in chilled glasses, drops a dash of orange bitters in one. Glasses on a tray, she takes it to the twins.
"This one is for Katya, the other has Katja's bitters," Katya takes her drink.
Katja takes hers, slides her free hand along the inside of Ellen's long thigh, "You may haf also cocktail, I will be along in a minute to show you about spinach. Start potato, baked, like you see me do it."
That means microwave, then to the oven to crisp. They like the crunchy skins, potatoes with butter, sour cream and chives, sprinkle of caviar across the top.
"Got it dear one," turns and back to the kitchen.
Katya, "She has excellent bottom, excellent everything. We have perfect play toy, better than TV man with big dick muscle boy."
"Da. She ees happy with her part. I never thought of servant girl, America ees about princess, not slave."
Katja raises her glass, "Devushkam!” (to girls!)
Katya raises hers, "V strannykh amerikanskikh devochek!” (to weird American girls)
They toss back the drinks, they can sip the next one.
Katja shows Ellen the creamed spinach recipe. It's from the Food Channel chef, Emeril LaGasse. Basically standard creamed spinach with nutmeg added, quite good and ridiculously simple.
Ellen serves the girls at the dining table, she eats at the kitchen counter. The twins don't require it, it's just what Ellen does. She refreshes wine.
"Anything else, more spinach, chicken?"
"Nyet, it was good. You may clear dishes."
Katya goes off to check cash flow and balance sheets. Eidetic memory allows her to easily grasp accounting methods and financial statements. She goes over numbers for all three stores every day. If there's a discrepancy, she follows up the next morning. While physically identical, Katya’s personality is more rigid, Katja more flexible.
Their remodeled house is open plan, that is, an island with a double sink and extra counter space separates the kitchen from the dining/living area. Ellen's rinsing dishes and stacking plates in the dishwasher. Katja is behind her, hands on hips, soft kisses to Ellen's neck, tease a nipple, Ellen shivers and grins. Katja crosses to the living area and plunks on the sofa, clicks on the TV, channel surfs until she comes on a rerun of Clear and Present Danger.
Ellen comes up, Katja takes her hand and pulls her onto the couch. Katya joins them. Ellen is stretched out, her head in Katja's lap. Katya down the couch with Ellen's legs across her lap.
Ellen, "I get the primo spot."
"Servant does not haf to serve all the time."