Chapter Thirty Three
Back in the room, we realize we aren’t merely exhausted, we are thrice cooked. The job itself, the qi we burned in overcoming the target, the qi Chan and I used to work on Nikko while Janah worked on Meyer, and the qi involved in keeping us functional over four days has drained us dry. Amaya was a trooper, and young, she still shows the strain. She performed perfectly in a dangerous situation, then stayed by Janah’s side the entire refocusing. I am so proud of her.
We take long hot showers, I order a massive amount of room service, there is little talk, a movie plays, Argo.
Janah and Nikko collapse in their room, Amaya is silent, folds into me, we sleep for ten hours.
Today Chan comes over and we do exactly nothing for the morning and afternoon. Chan and Janah take a walk, Amaya and I check Nikko’s wound, healing nicely after all the work Chan and I did in the warehouse. Amaya stays close to her mother, does not let me do for her, she takes care of herself and Nikko.
Nikko drifts off to sleep in mid-afternoon. Amaya and I in our room, in bed, cuddled. We like feeling each other close, body to body.
Amaya, “Is Janah oaky?”
“What do you think troubles her?”
“Me. She has done this before. She wanted me to learn, to deal with an evil mind without snuffing it out. It pained her not to succeed.”
“Do you think she failed?”
“Of course not! Does she think so? She is wrong. She made the only decision possible. I told her myself of my concern about him. Meyer thought nothing of the pain he caused and he would have murdered you all had he been able.”
“Then tell her. She wanted me to ask you. She needs to hear it from you.”
“I shall surely tell her.”
“Just tell her your opinion like you told me. She will know if you are sincere or simply telling her what you believe she wants to hear out of fake kindness.”
“Daphne, why on earth would I patronize my family? This family does not operate out of neediness.”
I smile at her, “No. You don’t seem to mind my need for you though.”
She giggles, the sound refreshes me, “That is quite different. I want you to need me. It is not needy, it is….considerate cooperation.”
“Our understanding is most harmonious. Harmony is essential for us to be in each other. Being with you is bliss. I like bliss.”
“You will really be blissful making love to me. You can begin now.”
So much for gentle cuddling; a half hour later, I’m so blissful, I’ve forgotten who I am and I don’t care.
Amaya, “Good God! You have absorbed me. Geezimmany, I do not wish to be greedy, but give me another round of bliss….go slowly…and hurry, kiss everything…get busy, do not stop.”
I relish instruction. She makes things so simple, and so rewarding…ooooh, yesss!
Another deep exploration, lick and kiss, writhe, gasp and squirm.
“You play my body like a sensuality prodigy, where did you learn such intensely nasty wonderful things?”
“Janah is not only your teacher, although we sort of learned from each other by trying things. Susan had a hand in Janah’s training.”
“That is new information.”
“I’ve not discussed it, even with Nikko. But before Janah and I first made love, she went to Sis. She wanted expert guidance, mom was delighted to guide.”
“Get out! No, I can see that. What about you? Or is it none of my business?”
“This is double secret, she sent me to Lacy.”
Amaya grins, “You must have been young.”
“Fourteen and a half. We asked, they did nothing to seduce us, wasn’t their idea, it’s what Janah wanted.”
“Neither of them objected of course.”
I grin, “Um…no. It was only a few sessions. Janah and I connected intimately soon as she hit fifteen. Lacy and I didn’t continue, Janah and Susan kept going occasionally, still do, but it’s infrequent. Lacy and I started again later, we go a few rounds sometimes, alone or with Janah. Her primaries are Susan and Chris. We don’t have time for unlimited daily sex.”
“I must thank Janah for bringing you to me complete, without mentioning the other of course. I teach you obedience, well, more like expand on Janah’s training, you came well equipped in the arts of service and pleasure.”
“You bring your own skills to the table dear one. Receiving is a talent, it encourages and heightens the deliverer’s talents. I know, I am a professional receiver.”
Amaya, “We shall see. Bring me my sword. I am going to screw your brains out.”
I strap her up, she proceeds to deliver several times on her promise, front on me, then she wants me to do her anally. Yeowch! If I wasn’t her slave before, I sure as heck am now. We lay on the bed, laughing and trying to catch our breath. When we finally get a normal heart rate, we make out for a nice long while, then I fill the tub and we play in the bubbles.
We finally make an appearance around six thirty, Chan is in his room, Janah has showered and is holding Nikko on the sofa.
Janah, “You two having an idiot grin contest?”
“I’m certain I have the biggest idiot grin.”
Janah, “I can’t tell, Amaya looks pretty dazed and confused to me, I’ve seen the afterglow on you about a thousand times. If she gets any happier, Seligman will have to write another book. Must have been quite a ride.”
“Honey, I don’t know where we went, but I’m signing up for a return trip.”
“Then my concern is no concern?”
“Janah, she is so grounded, her ground is grounded. She credits you and her mother for it. You have zero to worry about. But I want it to come from her, so you didn’t hear it from me. She will come to you in due course.”
Janah, “I’m relieved. And I’m glad she wants to tell me herself. She performed perfectly throughout the whole ugly saga.”
“Perfect is a word that continues to pop up around her, I’m going to have to think up an fresher description, but I don’t know how to get better than perfect. And so you know, to her, it was not an ugly saga. Ugly would have been to let him off. But, enough, let her talk it over with you. Probably won’t be tonight, she is relishing our fun.”
“I’ll get dinner brought up. I’m guessing something light, what about Chan?”
Janah, “Chan admitted exhaustion, he’s calling his wife and unwinding. Light is good. We had a lot of food earlier. Nikko isn’t hungry, I am a little. Let’s eat and watch something mindless, then more sleep. Tomorrow is for hanging out again, day after is travel home.”
“It’s a good decision not to go home right away. I don’t want Sis to see Nikko injured, she’ll transfer the risk to Amaya. Let’s let them think it was all under control.”
I call room service yet again, veggie sandwiches, lentil soup, bread, no desserts. I pour wine for everyone. We eat quietly, watch talk shows, pay little attention. Amaya lays with her head in Nikko’s lap and her legs across Janah’s. We get sleepy and go off to the big bedroom. Amaya sleeps between me and Nikko, holding her mother. Amaya’s hand reaches back, rests on the inside of my thigh, “To be continued,” I feel her smile in me.
Chapter Thirty Four
The last day, we walk through Chinatown, don’t disguise other than a temp hair color on Janah’s white hair. We’re out as ourselves, at least vaguely the selves on our licenses. Nobody asked for documents and papers, there’s still some America left in America.
The day passes blessedly without event. Amaya enjoys the sights, buys a jade necklace, earrings for Sis and bracelets for Kara and Chris. She haggles like a vet and winds up paying a little over half the price on the tags. No clothes, we live in Manhattan, clothing selections are every third store. We decide enough tourism and return to the hotel at four.
Janah and Amaya check Nikko’s wound, a pink scar. Not bad for a graze by a bullet. Amaya and I are in our room, I undress her, then me, we shower and let our hair air dry. Instead I brush her hair with her Mason Pearson brush then a light coat of body lotion. I kneel and massage her feet, she sighs and relaxes against the vanity.
“You have not kissed my legs today.”
“I’m building the tension.”
She laughs, “Do not neglect your duties, Daphne. There are new rules. In the future, just take care of your obligations, you need not wait for either invitation or instruction.”
“Does that include….?”
Amaya, “Anything you wish, except the one thing I currently withhold. I have a deviously delicious fantasy to make real before I go down on you. Otherwise, the door is permanently open.”
I bend and kiss her toes, “You’ll let me know if I’m taking advantage?”
“I do not find that comprehensible.”
We giggle like schoolgirls, silly, fun, not innocent at all.
“What are mother and Janah doing?”
“Then we shall see that they are fed.”
Dinner arrives at seven, we turn on the television, watch Thor of all things. It isn’t bad, too much computer enhancement, Natalie Portman does not need enhancement. The actor who played Thor was a chiseled hunk, almost too pretty to be a man.
Amaya, “He’s quite beautiful.”
Amaya, “Not in that way. I wouldn’t be anything except for you. I was a nice young lady, minding my own business with no sexual yearnings, a vestal virgin. Now I am an outlet for your lust. You are disgusting in the most appealing way. You are aware this is our last evening in the fancy hotel?”
“And the implications of that are?”
Amaya keeps her eyes on the television, “I imply nothing.”
I catch her implication. The implications are making me warm.
Janah, “I’m sensing a temperature increase.”
“Maybe I have a fever.”
“Oh, you have a fever all right, sitting next to you.”
“You’re on one side, Amaya the other.”
“No wonder your temperature is rising.”
“Can I do something for you before we retire?”
“You know how I get in hotels.”
“Hotels have nothing to do with it, but that’s beside the point. The movie has retired, you are all steamed up about Natalie, shall I relieve the pressure?”
“What about Amaya?”
“She delights in learning.”
Janah guides Nikko to their room, puts her to sleep. Nikko isn’t arguing. Amaya and I de-robe, nothing else to remove, we settle in bed.
“For Janah’s well being, and your education, she is coming for a visit before she goes to sleep. Observe and learn.”
Amaya, “Ooooh, I am all attention.”
Janah appears at the door, bereft of clothing, Amaya says, “Cripes, she’s splendid. That outfit suits her.”
“It’s my favorite.”
I carefully explore the territory, leaving no soft silkiness unturned, Amaya and Janah swap tongue throughout. Janah does her part and has three textbook orgasms. We merge, Amaya kisses the one, then settles back, I feel her heart racing.
Janah kisses me, kisses Amaya and sort of floats out of the room.
Amaya, “That is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen. What does it feel like, to become another?”
“Think of infinite bliss, then square it.”
Amaya, “Will we….?”
“It’s unpredictable. Thinking of it prevents the flowering. Like trying to make the petals open by tugging on them. Do nothing, ask for nothing, it will be when you are not.”
Amaya, “Understood. While I do not wait or anticipate, perhaps you can find some way to pass the time?”
“Oh, yeah. I can find several ways to pass the time.”
And, boy, do we. Amaya’s hands are particularly lively, in the zone so to speak, it is quite a while before we sleep.
While I’m dressing her the next morning, hands on, she smiles, bites her lip lightly, “As the boys say, we got game last night, yes?”
“That may be the grandest understatement of all time. We were the game, you scored the winning touchdown, the three pointer at the buzzer, a bases loaded home run, ran the table, took home all the marbles, went to the Show and got the ring.”
She adopts athlete interview mode, “Well, I can’t do these things alone. It takes teamwork. I want to thank my offensive line for opening the holes, all I had to do was run through. And what can I say about our defense? The blitzes kept everyone off balance, nobody knew what was coming next. We were unstoppable.”
We get the grins, then laughter spills out of the bedroom, I hear Janah giggling.
Nikko, “Daughter’s teen years stolen by cougar lesbians.”
“Janah did nothing but demonstrate, she is the instructor after all. I, on the other hand, devoured my prey, and was then devoured. Teamwork at its finest.”
Nikko, “Get packed. Time to go home and see if I can return my daughter to normal. I will make you pay for your theft of her innocence. First you stole mine, now Amaya’s.”
“She gave it up without a fight. The fact is, she insisted I take it. I was just following orders.”
Nikko, “Despicable self-justification.”
“Well, yeah. You don’t mind my despicableness.”
“You haven’t seen despicable, Nikko is formulating a plan.”
Nikko tries glaring at me when we emerge, then sees the glow on Amaya’s face. She de-glares, and goes soft eyed.
Amaya hops in her lap, looks at me with an evil eye, “Daphne is willing to do the most foul things, and then do them all over again. You need to punish her, mother.”
Nikko, “Don’t worry.”
Chapter Thirty Five
I suppose it’s self-indulgent, but private jet is really the only way to fly. Chan even slept. As big as he is, commercial flights, even up front, are not comfortable. A couple of hours is one thing, five and a half is another. Chan is hardly a comfort freak, still, no point in unnecessary scrunching if you can afford the luxury.
We pile in the apartment at five, unpack. Miyako wants to see Amaya, I’m doing our housekeeping. They go to the roof, David Li is already up there with his birds.
David, “Your trip was successful.”
David, ‘I know you cannot discuss it. I only ask to know your thoughts, not details, My father explained to us long ago, it is best for families to know little.”
“You are in the temple, you have witnessed fighting, even if only practice, it gets quite brutal.”
“Training is no good if it is merely taps and points. A mistake of most martial arts schools. In America, it is difficult to train properly, people get injured, they want to sue, make trouble.”
“It doesn’t seem to be a problem for boxing clubs. They get in the ring and pummel each other.”
“Yes, and the Shaolin practice the same way, without padding or headgear. It seems martial arts has turned into exercise most places, perhaps I am wrong, I haven’t visited a lot of martial arts schools. A monk in our temple cannot avoid gung fu. I am not very good, but I take my turn. Mostly I get beat up. I prefer medicine and the animals. The masters don’t make me fight very much. Once they saw that I would do it, it was enough. I do my required time and return to my studies or the garden. Janah’s temple is much more than fighting. It has been good for the order. We get more contemplatives, other academic skills.”
“I am not much for pain. I work hard at dance and yoga. It is different when it is me, not someone attacking me. I do not know if I would be afraid, I have never been confronted. I played a role on the trip, to distract someone. It is simple to distract men.”
David smiles, “You are too lovely to ignore, it isn’t in a man’s nature. You will be a good addition, you are learning to heal as well, no?”
“Yes. I have the best instructor, Janah. And Daphne is training me as well. Also to defend myself if the need arises. Nikko and Daphne are so protective, I doubt defending myself is a problem, they take care of that, along with your father, who is invincible.”
David, “At any time, the unexpected can happen. You may find you are your only defender. You cannot let down the others by being defenseless.”
“True. Best not to rely on flashing my legs in the hopes of making a man with a knife forget his anger.”
David, “Not so simple,” he gazes at her for a time, then, “I sense a change in you, no longer a young girl.”
David is direct, curious only, not intending to be intrusive. If she told him to mind his business, he would not take it personally. If she was frank, he would not see it as gossip.
Miyako comes over from the Parkour course, sits next to them.
Amaya, “No, I have passed child. I did not think I would be sexually active. I was more like you, not that you are a child.”
I didn’t take it that way. You are correct. That hormone does not drip on my brain. I am spared the frenzy of sexual arousal. I have no interest. I’ve tried to imagine it. Beauty is beauty. I see yours, and I appreciate it, like the beauty of the sky, or a bird in flight. Miyako is different, she thinks of boys.”
“I do not! Well…a little.”
David laughs, “Hours texting boys and then gossiping about them with your girlfriends. If you were more interested, you would never sleep.”
“There’s this boy who comes around after school. He is sooo cute, adorably shy, intelligent. A geek. I kissed him, he blushed. Mother says I am too forward. If I waited for him to kiss me, I’d be an old lady.”
David, “You are twelve, and got your period already. Now, it’s all about cute boys.”
Miyako huffs, “There’s no privacy in this family. I don’t even know how he knows, probably guessing.”
“Birds told me. They see you up here with your phone, typing away, hear you talk to your friends.”
“Sheesh, if he wasn’t my brother, I’d have to kill him. You don’t go around telling everyone my stuff do you?”
“Who would I tell? Amaya is your friend, she already knows. I’m not going to chatter about my sister’s interests with outsiders. You think your mother and father are imbeciles? Don’t be childish, at least contain your childishness to text messages and boy bands.”
“Amaya doesn’t have a boyfriend. Plenty of guys ask about her. She’s always turning down dates. Are you interested in someone? You haven’t said.”
“Nothing to say. Not my thing.”
Miyako, “You’re like David?”
Miyako brightens, “So a boyfriend? Tell me!”
David, “Sister is so absorbed, she can’t see the stars for the sky.”
“I had no interest, like your brother. Things have changed somewhat.”
Miyako, ‘What does that mean?”
“Don’t be nosy, sister.”
“David, I do not mind. Secrets are silly unless, like our work, it is a matter of safety.”
Miyako’s teen genes are kicking in. She’s bursting to know about her friend, “What then?”
“Ask your brother, his birds tell tales.”
David, “Birds know nothing. A blind man could see what you have an eye for.”
David doesn’t look up from the pigeon he’s feeding, “Did you not know your own stirrings? A year ago, I could see the glimmer in your eye when she passed. You followed her every move.”
Miyako, “A girl? Cool. At least I don’t have to worry about you taking all the boys. Who? Someone at Chapmans?”
Amaya, “David, you knew before I did.”
David, “We often don’t understand ourselves, we think we understand, but it’s only the mask the ego puts forward. But, underneath, the body reveals all. You learned her ways, saw how she served. You instinctively knew that having her serve you would arouse her. So you both played your roles. The play heightened the arousal. I assume from the obvious change in your body posture, your tone of voice and composure that the roles have matured.”
Amaya, “Janah has taught you well.”
“Mostly my father, who sees everything and says little.”
Miyako squeals, “Daphne!”
Amaya, “She is so beautiful, just exquisite. And we love playing out our ‘roles’ as David says. It is not a game. It is playful though. Her service to me is, to put it directly, erotic. To her, serving is erotic. We can be ourselves completely with each other. Nothing is hidden.”
Miyako, “Then what?”
Miyako pouts, “In David-speak, nothing means it won’t do any good to nag him. He either isn’t sure, or he just won’t say. It’s infuriating. He can be a stone, like dad.”
Amaya, “That is the highest compliment you can pay him. Be happy he does not play guessing games. If he is wrong, it still puts ideas in people’s heads. In your case, you need not worry about him telling stories about you. Be happy to have a brother who is not a talking head.”
Miyako, “Daphne….wow….but, what about Janah?”
“Do you think this family is so needy and insecure as to require everyone to be stamped with one or another’s brand? Come on, Miyako. You must know better than that.”
“Ah. Of course. I’m the one always wondering about why girls get so prissy about a particular guy, or whether some other girl is interested in him. Who would want a guy no one was interested in?”
David, “That may be the best guy. The common crowd is a poor judge of individuals. They are more like cows, drawn to the biggest bull.”
Miyako, “Everyone is drawn to Daphne. Half the girls in school would kill to kiss her, all of the guys I know.”
“Yes, but with reason. She is considerate, charming, sincerely interested and beautiful. She is herself, not a poseur.”
“What’s a poseur?”
Amaya, “A fake. Like girls falling in love with a well rehearsed image created by Disney. The boy or girl gets a wave of popularity, the very idea of so many people attracted to them makes the image seem real. Later in life, the poseur is confronted with the lie, like a Disney bleach blond pop singer, the image collapses, they do not know who they are. Lots of child heartthrobs become fat, wasted unattractive addicts. A multitude of false images leaves them bereft of an anchor.”
Miyako, “So the illusion of having it all is only an illusion.”
David, “Today’s lesson, dear sister.”
Chapter Thirty Six
Amaya, “So that was our conversation.”
“Only half the girls in school? I must be slipping.”
Amaya, “The other half just will not admit it. They pretend lez is icky, like guys going on about gays.”
“Glad you explained, I’m feeling much better now.”
Sometimes, our family is confusing, even to our family. It gets sorted out, acceptance and keeping your nose out of other people’s business is a great conciliator. Although I’m wondering how the moms will react. Now that Miyako knows, it won’t be long until I find out. I decide to visit before the grapevine grew.
Sis, “You sail along and gorgeous women throw themselves at you. I’d hate you, but they throw themselves at me occasionally, I can relate.”
Chris, “Good for Amaya. She gets a woman with all the right skills and who would kill for her. She isn’t stupid, she’s discerning, not going to waste herself on some hairy ass who will be looking for the next piece in a week.”
C-mom has a low opinion of men, and a fair number of women, I say, “Glad you take this in stride. I didn’t think you would freak, Amaya was concerned. She plays bossy with me, it’s our fun. Despite her bluster, she’s sensitive to people’s feelings. She acts like it’s all about Amaya, that’s to entertain.”
Sis, “We know that. I love her strutting. You did all the same thing, she is you in many ways. You met yourself floating down the river of life.”
“That’s how Janah describes it, thinks it’s hilarious, Daphne met herself and surrendered.”
Chris, “Bullshit, you surrendered to Janah a long time ago.”
“It’s why she thinks it’s so funny. If I was suspicious, I’d suspect she trained Amaya.”
Chris, “I have trouble imagining how this works in any other family. I have a stunning partner who thinks it’s fine that I have a stunning girlfriend. My partner has intimate relations with my daughter’s former headmaster. Not to mention the odd one nighters with Janah.”
Sis, “Or the frequent one nighters you come across.”
Chris waves a hand, “I’ve slowed down since Taylor.”
Sis, “You screeched to a halt since Taylor. Unlike me, she’s possessive. I wonder how she tolerates me.”
Chris, “Oh that’s simple. I don’t mind giving up clubbing for Taylor. I would have for you, except you like it once in a while. There’s no giving up you. To her credit, she’s never even hinted at it. She sees you as a friend, one who is very good at making her feel good.”
“Sis, you’ve done Taylor?”
Susan, “Hey, she’s hot, and sugar sweet. It took her about two seconds to discover what lights me up.”
“I inherited your submissive genes.”
Susan, “And our girls give us themselves to enjoy as a consequence.”
“Our little secret.”
Chris, “Works for me, I don’t give a shit who’s on top of the pile, long as I’m in the pile.”
Sis and I laugh. The moms figured out long before Buddhism and Shaolin, when you toss out ego, the fun is infinite. Once me is gone, everything is, and as they say down South….s’all good.
Amaya caught on by watching, me with Janah, then me. She discovered that outrageous self-glorification is a delightful way to self-abandon. Take ego to such an extreme that you can’t possibly take yourself seriously. The fun part is to act like you believe all the crap you blather, finding a partner to adopt the role of sycophant is even better. You play it as if it’s real. That’s essential. If it’s played too tongue in cheek, then there’s an ego underneath that knows it’s an act. Played with abandon, the ego gets confused with nothing to hang on to. Destructo ego, which sounds like Latin, so it must be erudite. Enter freedom, which is bliss.
Don’t believe me, just don’t believe yourself either. Try it, if you dare. If you can’t let ego go, there is an option. You can roll along believing you are all the restrictions your ego lays on you to protect itself, live the illusion, practically everyone does. You, too, can be Britney, Lindsay, Charlie or Mel. Or the black pop singer who wanted to be white, so he bleached himself, chopped up his nose and slept with little boys just like a priest, then imploded with the help of a bought and paid for quack doctor. You can live the illusion until it crumbles and you go ballistic; or be the common lost billions of others that wallow in a life of imitation, a bland lifetime kiddie roller coaster of petty joys and suffering.
And in case it’s occurred to you, no, letting go ego is not the same as having it explode. Seeing the illusion and releasing it arises from within. Believing the illusion until life’s facts don’t add up to your delusion puts you in conflict with the world and your image of yourself. (I started to say fake image, but that’s redundant. Any image of yourself is fake.)
Life crashing down means you didn’t let go of anything, ego lives, steamrollered, not dead. More like Wylie Coyote, flattened only to pop up a few frames later, only to blow up again. The bulk of humanity is Wylie Coyote, Elmer Fudd or Yosemite Sam when they could be Bugs or Road Runner. Go figure. I asked Janah about it, she dwells on these kinds of things, I skim the surface on the way to having Nikko beat me up or Amaya pull my strings.
I say my goodbyes, go home, Janah’s already heard my conversation.
Janah, “Parents, brainwashed by their parents, brainwash their kids. Kids are told they are a Christian or a Jew, American, German, African or Japanese, they are told what to study, where to be educated, which means indoctrinated. The kid doesn’t know any better, he or she is just trying to get along without too many assholes giving them grief. The child is seldom if ever invited to discuss why, or whether, the rules have any relevance, they are imposed. By the time kids are teens, they are corrupted followers, either of their parents or of their friends, or a netherworld in between, one face for mommy, another for their tribe, never themselves. They don’t know who they are, ego loves this, it gets to live unchallenged, a parasite feeding on an unwitting host.”
“I sense that the word feeding has touched off visions of food.”
Janah, “So what are you waiting for?”
I make snacks, and formulate a dinner plan in my head.
Janah puts a wedge of cheese on a cracker, “Philosophy makes me hungry. Is there tea?”